Exhausted

I wish I was at camp this summer, & I hate that my bffs live everywhere but here. 

I wish I got along with my sister, & I wish I had someone on my side.

I wish someone would understand, & I'd love for someone to make me happy.

I wish I didn't have allergies, & I wish I could take a sick day for them.

I wish I wasn't sick of living at home, & I'd do anything to be with Emma right now. 

I wish I wasn't so easily frustrated, & I wish I could do yoga every day. 

I wish that life was prettier right now, & I wish that my nails would stop braking. 

I wish I could change what people think of me, & I wish I didn't care so much.

I wish I didn't feel so alone, & I wish that wasn't so cliche. 

I wish I could eat cupcakes every day, & I wish they wouldn't make me fat.

I wish I lived next to a Starbucks & I wish I didn't cry when I'm exhausted.

I wish being civil with people was easy & I wish loving people wasn't so exhausting.

lessons.

Once upon a time, there was a girl from a small, little, tiny town who went to meet her childhood friend from another small, little, tiny town at the local Starbucks. They met at just after 6pm because the first girl is always late.

They talked and talked for hours and hours. Three hours to be exact. They talked about life and boys, family and friends, Edward and Jacob. And by the time those three hours had passed, the sun was almost set. Since it was getting so chilly outside, they decided to skip going to the gym, and called it a night... But not before planning to see Eclipse together at the midnight prescreening next week.

When the first girl got home, she was happy. Thinking to herself about just how nice it is to catch up with old friends.

Unfortunately for that first girl, things don't have a way of staying nice for very long.

Upon returning home to her family, she was greeted with the not-so-civil attacks of her family for many miniscule and unnecessary issues... which immediately put her in a bad mood for the rest of the night. She gave up talking to them, stomped upstairs to her messy bedroom, and slammed her door.

Next time she's going to go to the gym after Starbucks.

Grubbs stole my heart.

If you like OTH, or you just like good music... then you need to check out this song :)

Almost Everything... by WAKEY!WAKEY!

Praying for thunder

Recently I've been trying and trying to find ways to keep myself busy...

And so every week I meet my friends for coffee, skype with the ones who are too far away to have coffee with, go to movies, work at Aldo... and I even joined a gym last week in hopes that I can put all of this energy into something productive.

It's not even that I have much time on my hands, it's just that I sincerely have nothing 'exciting' going on in my life. I'm 22 years-old, graduating college, doing my 40hrs/week at my internship, and there's no love interest.

I'm not used to it. There have been boys in my life for the past three or four years... and before that I was quite the high school boy magnet. I mean it.

Throughout high school I dated lots of guys. JM, MP, JS, SP, TT, JN... just to name a few.

Some were jocks, others kinda nerdy but cute, then there were the bad boys that my mother forbid from ever coming over because she thought that meant we'd never hang out... etc, etc.

The funny thing about it is that even though I was such a flirt, I was also so naive.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I was home-schooled until I was in grade seven, and then I went to a Christian school for the two years before high school. And in high school I was known as the Christian girl who didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or kiss guys. (I was 18 the first time I ever kissed a guy - and it was magical... seriously. like storybook magical)

I Guess you could say that I was going through my teenage years the way most kids spend pre-high school. Sometimes I feel like I spent those years attracting too many boys, because now I'm 22 and feel like maybe I scared the rest off? Or used up my share? (wow... thats a funny thought. and no. I don't believe that)

Anyways... in my search for someone or something to help me pass the time I've decided that it's not a boy that I'm looking for. So last week I applied to spend my fall of 2010 in LA, followed by some serious missionary work in South East Asia.

That should rev things up a little bit! I've learned that I need to find my excitement in something other than bf's, gff's, chocolate and cupcakes. (even though I love each of those)

I know that there's way more exiting things in life to come... and I can't just sit on my ass at the office all day and wait for these things to happen.

Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Prov. 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

1 Tim 4:12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

carey & audrey

i want to get my hair cut.... this is my inspiration.