nighttime is when i do most of my thinking...

So it's almost 2:30am and I honestly just realized that in exactly 20 days I will be on a plane headed to Los Angeles, California for the next five months. 

How does something like that escape my mind so easily? I say over and over again to people everywhere that I leave on September 17th,  but somehow it just didn't sink in... 

My life has been SO hectic this summer that it's been hard to actually find time to think... even about the big things. Like the fact that YWAM starts in 3 weeks and that I'll be missing 5 out of 6 family birthdays, that I'll miss Thanksgiving and Christmas while I'm away, and that there are just about 100 things I need to do before I leave.... including getting the immunizations I'm missing, buying health insurance, and trying to get my support letters sent so that I can hopefully raise some of the $6,000 it's costing to go on the mission trip. 

But with that said, at least I'm going to do one of the hundred things I want to do before I die. Right? *I heart TBL

This weekend I was reading a book that I have to finish before arriving, it's called "Is That Really You, God?" by Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM. It's a biography of his life and where God called him to go, do and see. Almost every page made me overwhelmed with how God spoke to him, how he learned to listen and follow what God's plan was for him and his family, as well as YWAM. I can't help but hope that during my journey to Los Angeles and other parts of the world, that God will speak to me so that I may know what He is asking of my life...


I've been asking God questions like: 
Where am I to go? What am I to do? What do you want from me? 

Even though I love my life at home, my job and my family here... I still feel like there has to be more. I've been feeling like I'm not doing enough, that there has to be more to all of this... I'm longing to know God more than I ever have before and I desperately pray that this mission trip will help me get to know Him intimately, and then to be able to share that with others!

Ok... so now that I've poured out my guts to you... I guess I should sleep so that I can make it to my doctors appointment tomorrow morning before work. Jeepers! I'm sick of getting shots.

This is a verse that's been sticking out to me lately... 

Psalm 18:49
Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD, I will sing praises to your name. 

diēs caniculārēs

My heart stopped beating...

...when Ezra Fitz showed up in the doorway on Pretty Little Liars tonight!

oh man, oh man... 

what a dreamer... 

I might just have a new favourite Hollywood Babe. 

(But Rob, of course you'll always be my first love.)

So I did some research and here is what I know about Ezra...

1.    His real name is Ian Harding

2.    He was born in Germany in 1986, and then grew up in the United States. (Perfect. He's only a year and a half older than me. Which we all know means that I have a chance with him... lol)

3.   His first on-screen appearance was in Adventureland (I haven't seen it, but it's on my 'must watch' list)

4.   He is now the smokin' hott high school teacher on Pretty Little Liars

and...

That's about it! Short & Sweet

Yup. I'm a nerd. 

A total nerd.

xoxo,

A

zip it

You know when you say something and it just doesn't come out quite right? 

Or when you kinda meant to say it like that, until you realize how it actually sounded out loud? 

Well sometimes... that's me. (and sometimes... it's other people)

I don't normally regret what I say because usually I had a good reason for saying it and I'm not one to shy away from confrontation.... but what I am noticing lately is that I'm very sensitive to the way others say things to me... and to others. (and when I say very, I mean very)

It drives me crazy. I hate hearing others fight, I can't stand it when someone says something demeaning about another person (even if it's just in their tone of voice), and to be completely honest... it automatically puts me in a bad mood. And now that I think about it, maybe that's the part that I hate the most. I mean, it ruins a good day, a happy moment, or just makes life suck. So yes. I hate it. And yes, hate is a strong word.

And since I'm the complete opposite of a pushover... I usually confront whoever just said something that wasn't all that nice and ask what the heck that was all about?! - and then they deny it, and I look like a complete and total idiot. 

Since when did standing up for myself and others make me the bad person? Why can't people just be nice to each other... even if it's just in the way that they talk? 

Obviously I need to take my own advice on more than one occasion... but I've been making a solid effort to talk politely and respectfully to people. (specifically my family... 'cause we all know that family is usually a trigger for stuff like this) 

Anyways... all this thinking reminded me of this. 

 James 1:19 - My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry....