I should have done this sooner...

So my blog posts have been few and far between lately... and the reason for that is that I've been keeping a blog elsewhere to document my life in the land of the rich and tanned... Los Angeles!
So even though this isn't quite a proper blog post, I'm leaving my readers with the link to my new blog...
I'll try to make the random post to this one every so often, but for now I leave you with this:
http://mountainsandsunshine.tumblr.com/

my beauty of a sister

So I'm going to brag about my sister right now... She just turned her 'Sweet 16' and I thought I'd share her beauty with the world! 

This summer she worked at the same summer camp that I worked at when I was in high school and a friend of ours (Abi Mahon) is just getting into photography and I might add that she is VERY talented! 

Here are a few of the most beautiful and emotion-filled pictures of my baby sister... Enjoy! 

 

With Love from L.A., 

Amanda

Welcome to Los Angeles!

Hey my loves,
Here is my short and sweet update from the land of the tanned and famous!

I arrived on Friday after about 14 hours of travel... (stupid canceled flight) and proceeded to spend my weekend touring Lake View Terrace (yes, I know - I'm not really in the glamourcity, but its basically the cutest YWAM base ever! just a short walk away from The Sev (aka the local 7/11).

There are 45 students in my school, most of those being girls - I live in a trailer/house with 20 other girls, and there are four girls who I share a room with... it might sound crazy, but it's actually going great!

I have yet to see Hollywood, the beach, Melrose Place, or anything really... but beach day is this Saturday and I'm super excited!

Basically, everything is going great. The leaders and staff are great, the students are great, and I can't wait to see what else is going to happen during DTS!

Miss you all, and consider my love sent!

xoxo,
Amanda

nighttime is when i do most of my thinking...

So it's almost 2:30am and I honestly just realized that in exactly 20 days I will be on a plane headed to Los Angeles, California for the next five months. 

How does something like that escape my mind so easily? I say over and over again to people everywhere that I leave on September 17th,  but somehow it just didn't sink in... 

My life has been SO hectic this summer that it's been hard to actually find time to think... even about the big things. Like the fact that YWAM starts in 3 weeks and that I'll be missing 5 out of 6 family birthdays, that I'll miss Thanksgiving and Christmas while I'm away, and that there are just about 100 things I need to do before I leave.... including getting the immunizations I'm missing, buying health insurance, and trying to get my support letters sent so that I can hopefully raise some of the $6,000 it's costing to go on the mission trip. 

But with that said, at least I'm going to do one of the hundred things I want to do before I die. Right? *I heart TBL

This weekend I was reading a book that I have to finish before arriving, it's called "Is That Really You, God?" by Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM. It's a biography of his life and where God called him to go, do and see. Almost every page made me overwhelmed with how God spoke to him, how he learned to listen and follow what God's plan was for him and his family, as well as YWAM. I can't help but hope that during my journey to Los Angeles and other parts of the world, that God will speak to me so that I may know what He is asking of my life...


I've been asking God questions like: 
Where am I to go? What am I to do? What do you want from me? 

Even though I love my life at home, my job and my family here... I still feel like there has to be more. I've been feeling like I'm not doing enough, that there has to be more to all of this... I'm longing to know God more than I ever have before and I desperately pray that this mission trip will help me get to know Him intimately, and then to be able to share that with others!

Ok... so now that I've poured out my guts to you... I guess I should sleep so that I can make it to my doctors appointment tomorrow morning before work. Jeepers! I'm sick of getting shots.

This is a verse that's been sticking out to me lately... 

Psalm 18:49
Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD, I will sing praises to your name. 

diēs caniculārēs

My heart stopped beating...

...when Ezra Fitz showed up in the doorway on Pretty Little Liars tonight!

oh man, oh man... 

what a dreamer... 

I might just have a new favourite Hollywood Babe. 

(But Rob, of course you'll always be my first love.)

So I did some research and here is what I know about Ezra...

1.    His real name is Ian Harding

2.    He was born in Germany in 1986, and then grew up in the United States. (Perfect. He's only a year and a half older than me. Which we all know means that I have a chance with him... lol)

3.   His first on-screen appearance was in Adventureland (I haven't seen it, but it's on my 'must watch' list)

4.   He is now the smokin' hott high school teacher on Pretty Little Liars

and...

That's about it! Short & Sweet

Yup. I'm a nerd. 

A total nerd.

xoxo,

A

zip it

You know when you say something and it just doesn't come out quite right? 

Or when you kinda meant to say it like that, until you realize how it actually sounded out loud? 

Well sometimes... that's me. (and sometimes... it's other people)

I don't normally regret what I say because usually I had a good reason for saying it and I'm not one to shy away from confrontation.... but what I am noticing lately is that I'm very sensitive to the way others say things to me... and to others. (and when I say very, I mean very)

It drives me crazy. I hate hearing others fight, I can't stand it when someone says something demeaning about another person (even if it's just in their tone of voice), and to be completely honest... it automatically puts me in a bad mood. And now that I think about it, maybe that's the part that I hate the most. I mean, it ruins a good day, a happy moment, or just makes life suck. So yes. I hate it. And yes, hate is a strong word.

And since I'm the complete opposite of a pushover... I usually confront whoever just said something that wasn't all that nice and ask what the heck that was all about?! - and then they deny it, and I look like a complete and total idiot. 

Since when did standing up for myself and others make me the bad person? Why can't people just be nice to each other... even if it's just in the way that they talk? 

Obviously I need to take my own advice on more than one occasion... but I've been making a solid effort to talk politely and respectfully to people. (specifically my family... 'cause we all know that family is usually a trigger for stuff like this) 

Anyways... all this thinking reminded me of this. 

 James 1:19 - My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.... 

Surprise!

So I know I said I'd try and explain my last though a little clearer... but I've decided that I should stop saying I'll do things when I probably wont. Therefore - if you want me to explain, just comment. Otherwise I'm going to move on to something that doesn't require much thinking. 

Question: Have you ever planned and thrown a surprise party before? Have you ever hand-made invitations and then sent them out? (snail mail... none of this e-mail stuff) Then bought all the supplies, food, checked the guest list, and all while making sure the no one ruined the surprise? 

Well if you have, then you know why I'm so darn tired right now! (And yes, I'm going to bed soon.)

My siblings and I just held a surprise 30th Wedding Anniversary party for my parents and about 50 people showed up! Lets just say it was super busy, and my cheeks hurt from smiling and talking. 

Trying to keep it a secret while making sure my parents didn't come home sooner than planned was a mission. My dad basically had to force my mom to want to stay up north another day before getting home... jeepers. 

But... overall there was success! They were surprised and happy and that's all that counts. :)

Now my mom can stop telling us how disappointed she is that she's never had an anniversary party. 

Goodnight, I'm going to go rest my cheeks.  

Crave You

Isn't it just a little bit crazy how fast life swooshes right by us? 

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the last few years and just how different it's been compared to how I expected it to be. 

Four years ago I was trying to decide what to do with my life - I had just graduated from high school, I wasn't a smarty-pants, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, or where I wanted to go to college. And now, four years later, I've graduated from a program that I absolutely loved, I graduated with honours, and I've been offered a job to continue working at the company I've been doing my internship with! Who woulda thought that after all these years (which to me seem like a lot. Because when you're 22, four years is a long time), life would turn out this way? 

It's totally beyond me. 

So even though I've been offered the job at the Circus there's some unfinished dreams of mine that I've decided to take care of first. 

Last week I was accepted to attend YWAM in Los Angeles, California! It's basically a six month long mission trip, but in the first few months we stay at the base for the lecture phase: reading the Bible, studying, and learning about God and missions before we go to different countries doing the outreach phase, aka missions. 

I can't explain how excited I am about this new adventure. God has been doing some crazy things in my life over the last couple years and I think this is one way of Him telling me that there's way more I need to do with my life before I settle down and marry into a relationship that's so stationary.... 

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God has a plan for everyone in every situation. I believe that when God closes a door, He opens a window... and maybe not right away, but He will eventually. I also believe that God works for the good of those who love him, and even though I mess-up drastically all the time... I still believe that I'm forgiven and God really does have my best interest at heart. 

Tonight I was at my Bible study in Guelph (which I LOVE, btw) and we've been going through the book of Revelation. OMG. Throughout all my years of growing up in a Christian home and going to Sunday school, youth group and Bible quizzing, etc... I've never really known a lot about Revelations because it freaked me out to the point of having nightmares. But studying it now makes everything I've learned up until now so much clearer. It's like the missing puzzle piece and without it, the picture just isn't interesting. 

Anyways... it's not just located in one verse of Revelation, but overall what we noticed today is that more than ANYTHING (besides loving God) we as Christians are supposed to spread the Gospel. By not doing that we are deliberately disobeying God, and that is reason enough for God to punish us - Now that might sound a little harsh, strong, or even crazy... but when you read Revelation and piece it together with the other books... it's so true. 

Wow... it's definitely something to think about. 

I'll try and make it more clear tomorrow.... but if you want to try and understand it for yourself... then study it! 

p.s. i love it when it rains at night. 

Short.love.

In a spur-of-the-moment... and, well - also after lots and lots of mental preparation, I made the decision to make the cut. 

Yes, I have cut off just about all of my hair! And I hope that it's not too conceited of me to say that I think it looks great! 

It's completely different. It's edgier, confident, and definitely so refreshing! I never thought I'd be this happy with it. I thought I'd go through 'hair' withdrawal and cry until it all grew back... but I guess when something is just so perfectly right, there's no reason to doubt it!

Here are some pics from this weekend... let me know what you think! 

Saturday was one of the most fun days I've had in a while... I spent it with two of my besties! (above)On the left is Carolina George, a Windsor grown winter gal who loves cold weather more than life itself! And on the right is my little brothers glamorous gf Laura from the lovely London, Ontario! Lets just say we all have lots in common... especially our love for tea, shopping and taking a trip to the Shed - the cutest coffee bar in Ontario!

And although I don't have any pictures to prove it, I spent my Saturday night with some of the other most amazing friends a girl could ever have! It was Steph's 23rd birthday bash and we spent it at MINK nightclub in TO.... it was my first experience at a club in Toronto and I've gotta say that overall it was a good one! It's so amazing to be reunited with the friends I feel I've grown so far away from... always worrying and feeling insecure about being forgotten since I'm the one out of the loop these days. But after that night, it just made me realize that the friendships I have with these girls will never go away because of a silly thing like distance.... well, at least that's how I see it! 

Friends Forever gf!

Happy 'uh' Canada Day...

So I'm sitting on my couch with my dad right now, and we're both just on our laptops 'surfing the net'... 

I'm bored. And when I say bored I don't mean just that I want something to do right now. It's more like how it's Canada Day and while most of the country will be spending it with friends and family, going on picnics or partying downtown, I know for a fact that I'm going to be bored for the next four days - and that's REALLY bored. It's the worst kind. The kind that makes me mad that I'm stuck at home and because it means all my friends are probably doing fun stuff without me - my sister is working all weekend, my other sister is gone to camp (which I'm extremely jealous about), and so it's probably just going to be me and my mom for the remainder of the weekend... and all I really want to do is go see Eclipse. 

And the other sucky part is that I'm not really that 'stuck' at home - I have my own car and I can do as I please... but sometimes it's just nice to do something fun with friends, you know?
So I know I've been a crazy rambler lately... and not usually about happy things. But by now you've probably noticed that I get frustrated with life, myself, and pretty much anything these days. There are things I could be doing today, but I know that if I do them someone else will be upset because it's left them out or alone for a day or two. Jeepers. 

So maybe I'll just paint my nails red, put on my new clothes that I bought from Forever XXI, and find my parents' old SLR, buy some film and go on a photographing mission by myself. 
New clothes always make things brighter... and maybe I'll get my hair done on Saturday too. 

Exhausted

I wish I was at camp this summer, & I hate that my bffs live everywhere but here. 

I wish I got along with my sister, & I wish I had someone on my side.

I wish someone would understand, & I'd love for someone to make me happy.

I wish I didn't have allergies, & I wish I could take a sick day for them.

I wish I wasn't sick of living at home, & I'd do anything to be with Emma right now. 

I wish I wasn't so easily frustrated, & I wish I could do yoga every day. 

I wish that life was prettier right now, & I wish that my nails would stop braking. 

I wish I could change what people think of me, & I wish I didn't care so much.

I wish I didn't feel so alone, & I wish that wasn't so cliche. 

I wish I could eat cupcakes every day, & I wish they wouldn't make me fat.

I wish I lived next to a Starbucks & I wish I didn't cry when I'm exhausted.

I wish being civil with people was easy & I wish loving people wasn't so exhausting.

lessons.

Once upon a time, there was a girl from a small, little, tiny town who went to meet her childhood friend from another small, little, tiny town at the local Starbucks. They met at just after 6pm because the first girl is always late.

They talked and talked for hours and hours. Three hours to be exact. They talked about life and boys, family and friends, Edward and Jacob. And by the time those three hours had passed, the sun was almost set. Since it was getting so chilly outside, they decided to skip going to the gym, and called it a night... But not before planning to see Eclipse together at the midnight prescreening next week.

When the first girl got home, she was happy. Thinking to herself about just how nice it is to catch up with old friends.

Unfortunately for that first girl, things don't have a way of staying nice for very long.

Upon returning home to her family, she was greeted with the not-so-civil attacks of her family for many miniscule and unnecessary issues... which immediately put her in a bad mood for the rest of the night. She gave up talking to them, stomped upstairs to her messy bedroom, and slammed her door.

Next time she's going to go to the gym after Starbucks.

Grubbs stole my heart.

If you like OTH, or you just like good music... then you need to check out this song :)

Almost Everything... by WAKEY!WAKEY!

Praying for thunder

Recently I've been trying and trying to find ways to keep myself busy...

And so every week I meet my friends for coffee, skype with the ones who are too far away to have coffee with, go to movies, work at Aldo... and I even joined a gym last week in hopes that I can put all of this energy into something productive.

It's not even that I have much time on my hands, it's just that I sincerely have nothing 'exciting' going on in my life. I'm 22 years-old, graduating college, doing my 40hrs/week at my internship, and there's no love interest.

I'm not used to it. There have been boys in my life for the past three or four years... and before that I was quite the high school boy magnet. I mean it.

Throughout high school I dated lots of guys. JM, MP, JS, SP, TT, JN... just to name a few.

Some were jocks, others kinda nerdy but cute, then there were the bad boys that my mother forbid from ever coming over because she thought that meant we'd never hang out... etc, etc.

The funny thing about it is that even though I was such a flirt, I was also so naive.

I think it has something to do with the fact that I was home-schooled until I was in grade seven, and then I went to a Christian school for the two years before high school. And in high school I was known as the Christian girl who didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or kiss guys. (I was 18 the first time I ever kissed a guy - and it was magical... seriously. like storybook magical)

I Guess you could say that I was going through my teenage years the way most kids spend pre-high school. Sometimes I feel like I spent those years attracting too many boys, because now I'm 22 and feel like maybe I scared the rest off? Or used up my share? (wow... thats a funny thought. and no. I don't believe that)

Anyways... in my search for someone or something to help me pass the time I've decided that it's not a boy that I'm looking for. So last week I applied to spend my fall of 2010 in LA, followed by some serious missionary work in South East Asia.

That should rev things up a little bit! I've learned that I need to find my excitement in something other than bf's, gff's, chocolate and cupcakes. (even though I love each of those)

I know that there's way more exiting things in life to come... and I can't just sit on my ass at the office all day and wait for these things to happen.

Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Prov. 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

1 Tim 4:12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

carey & audrey

i want to get my hair cut.... this is my inspiration.

marilyn monroe

Can I just say that I love Marilyn Monroe?
I watched Gentlemen Prefer Blondes last night for the first time and even though it's not quite like Some Like it Hot... its still a fave!

If you haven't seen her films... you should really get on that! You're missing out:)

i heart fashion

I love fashion. That’s it. I love everything about it.

Here's why:

I love that I can take any mood and express it through what style I decide to flaunt that day. I love that style can be determined by a number of fashion choices made in a single morning & I love that fashion can be reduced, reused and recycled.

For example:

The unnecessary will be forgotten, the staples will stay, and the classics will return. I love that about fashion. I love that I can wear my grandmothers’ bracelet on my wrist and love every minute of it. I love that I can go through my mothers' jewellery box and wear earrings from the 80’s... and that I can wear my grandfathers flannel shirt, cut the arms off and have the cutest new addition to my wardrobe.

Not only do I love the fact that I can use pieces from some point in the last 100 years and wear them proudly, but I love that I can shop for the hot-off-the-runway fad and pair it with something vintage to result in an expressive and ‘fetching’ ensemble.

FYI: I love the words 'fetching' and 'fab'

my loves:

my coffee tumbler

So I was sitting in church on Sunday morning and this thought hit me:

WHY? Why does every Sunday morning end up the same?

I get up later than I should, rush to get showered, make-uped, hairdone, etc... and then as the family is running out the house, already 15 minutes behind schedule, I manage to remember to bring just one thing. My 'green made-of-30%-recycled-material' coffee tumbler filled of hot, steaming, black coffee.... and yet, I forget to bring my Bible.

Why do I remember to grab my coffee but forget to bring my Bible? Why is to so easy to forget the one thing that physically links me to God? Because on Sunday mornings, (and not to say that other days aren't for God either) I should be focussing on God and reserving that time to spend in fellowship with Him... and yet my frickin' coffee is what is distracting me.

Anyways, here it is:

It's crazy that life can get so distracting, that it can cause us to think and obsess over the things that really make little or no difference in our lives. Something as simple as my morning coffee kept me from bringing my Bible to church. And that's something I've decided to change.

The last few weeks at church my pastor has been talking about how we can connect with God, and the things that either get in the way (ie. being late for church, or being rushed in the mornings, etc) or the things that help us find a way to connect with God on some level throughout the day (ie. early morning prayer, Bible time, or just finding a second to say 'hi').

....

Anyways, it's not like I have any answers to any of my questions. But I do think that it's something to think about.

What are the small and miniscule things in your life that are keeping you from fully experiencing your Lord and Saviour?

Hebrews 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Think about it.

xoxo

A.

he never said 'forever & always' but it was definitely implied...

I was just at the movies with a best friend of mine... we saw Letters to Juliet. It was cute, I loved it!
Amanda Seyfreid is actually just the best... and even though its not actually that sad... I almost cried.
So after the movie we were sitting in our seats for a minute and noticed that the woman in front of us is deeply upset and crying into her hands while the young girl next to her was comforting her.
As we walked through the hallway out of the theatre, my friend and I were both thinking the same thing, "what could have happened to make her that upset?" Obviously something in the movie must have affected her, but it just makes one wonder.
Was it a divorce? death? heartache? Whatever it was, it made us think. No one really knows what another person has gone through... and we never really know how it affects us. It surprises me every day how much one thing will affect me and not someone else (or vice versa).
And sometimes its what someone else says or does that makes it all better - So be sympathetic, compassionate, and understanding. You never know what baggage someone else is carrying. (1Pet.3:8)

Which leads me to this. After I dropped my friend off, I started feeling things that I hate feeling. Loneliness, anger, resentment, rejected...
I deal with this on a daily basis, but it's usually much easier for me to ignore it.
So I'm driving home listening to Taylor Swift and these emotions just suffocate me. I start wondering why no matter how often I tell myself that "I'm fine, that I have friends and family that love me, or that I'll meet someone who will make all of those feelings go away" it just never happens.
Well... thanks to one of my bffs, I was introduced to this song and it reassures me of everything I keep telling myself.
Thanks bffs.

this vampire steals my heart

In honour of Rob Pattinson turning 24 today, and the fact that the whole world seems to be 'Twilight' crazy today... I figured I'd share a bit of my own obsession with Twilight, and specifically, Robert Pattinson.

Here are a few facts:

1. I have had multiple dreams of Rob, and they all seem very realistic. well... most of them anyways.

2. I watched the Twilight episode of Oprah today...

3. After watching that episode I was even more convinced that Rob is a total goof, and that he seems like a really cool guy

4. I waited three hours in line for the early showing of New Moon

5. There are 48 days until Eclipse premiers on June 30th

Here are some visuals for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy! I know I sure do.

xoxo

cupcakes & tea

Welcome to my Tea Party! (or to be specific... my blog)

I'm a 22 year old PR Intern from a small town outside of Toronto. I live across from a field that smells like cows. I know, it sucks.

My internship is at a marketing & advertising firm and I'm absolutely loving it so far! But besides all of that...

I like to think that I'm the mysterious girl you see around all the time, but don't know anything about.

So here... are a few things to help us get introduced:

I love tea.

I'm awkward, clumsy, and so unfortunately obsessed with fashion & cupcakes....

I have dreams of Robert Pattinson, and sometimes think that maybe one day I will actually meet him.

I've been writing entries to this blog for about a month... but I keep deleting them because I'm not sure what ya'll will think.

I'm not overly emotional.... but I've been hurt and I don't think I'm fixed yet.

I love folk music... and if I could be a singer I'd sing like Zoe Deschanel.

I want a baby. or multiple. and there is the cutest baby at church that I just love to watch each Sunday. I hope my babies look like she does. blond hair, blue eyes. so beautiful...

I have a major crush on this guy, and I have since last summer. Lame. I know. I should just 'man up' and ask him out...

One Word: CHOCOLATE

If I could be a Golden Girl, I'd be Rose.

So welcome! I hope that the ramblings of my life, fashion & cupcakes will entertain you!

xoxo,

A

ps. i wish i was a gossip girl